I Miss 360...

Ok all...I know we all picked up our blogs and moved them here from 360...but I am just not feeling this site.  I dunno.  I can't put my finger on it....I don't know if I'm feeling a lack of community...or I just don't really like how this site is set up...not sure what to do here.  I used to love updating my blog...since I've moved to Multiply, it feels more like a chore than an outlet.

I guess I have some thinking to do....Do I continue blogging here...Should I move my blog yet again....or should I just take my curtain call and end Crazed Single Mom....sigh.

SPYING CAN BE A GOOD THING!!!

I was recently told a disturbing story.  And I will share this story with all of you in hopes that we will all remember that as parents we are in charge.  Our children are not small adults.  They are children, and as such, if they live in our houses, they must live by our rules.  If at some time we "invade their privacy" that's too damned bad!  At some point, as parents or aunts and uncles, we might need to invade their privacy because we love them.

I have a very good friend.  We have been friends for many, many years.  She told me something that hurt her very deeply.  (BTW, she gave me permission to blog about it as a cautionary tale for those of us who have teenager or will one day have teenagers.)

My friend was home one day when her sister and her niece came over for a friendly visit.  During the visit, her niece asked if she could sign onto her computer and check her email.  No big deal.

A few hours later after her sister and niece left, my good friend decided to check her own email.  She opened her browser and logged on to hotmail.  Her niece forgot to log off from her hotmail account...there it was...open.

Just so are all clear.  Her niece has gone through some disciplinary issues.  She has refused to go to school.  She has been incredibly disrespectful to her parents.  Some of the things she has said to parents would have gotten her knocked out in my house. 

Well, the concerned aunt wondered if maybe there would be a clue in her e-mial.  Maybe a friend is influencing her.  Maybe she's involved with the wrong crowd.  Maybe drugs.  Well, she decided for the sake of her niece, who is also her god-child, she would look through her e-mail.

All she found were the average, everyday emails that would be received by a 14 year old girl, full of he-said, she-saids and quips about who she might have a crush on.  So far so good.  But then she notices a folder her niece had created.  The folder was labeled "Forwards."
Hmmm...forwards.

She clicked on the folder and nearly passed out.  The folder was filled with naked pictures of her niece.  Her niece had taken naked pictures of herself, they were in her email account, had she sent them to anyone? We don't know yet.  From what I understand, you could clearly see her face, there was no doubt it was her. 

My friend called me and told me what she found.  Now, she, like myself is a tough city girl.  Tough as nails, but I never heard her voice like this before.  She wondered if she should confront her niece...HELL NO!!  Talk to her mom, talk to her dad...talk to whoever is in charge here! 

Well, she told her sister what she had found.  We are waiting for the dust to settle.

Just a few years ago, I joined my friend and her sister and their families on Halloween.  This girl was among the children trick or treating.  She was only 11...now she's 14, but looks 18... and she is taking naked pictures of herself...sending them to God knows who.  If she sent those pictures out, they could be anywhere, they could show up at any time.  How could she be sooo stupid!

I'm sure this 14 year old in a woman's body is furious because her aunt invaded her privacy and found these pictures.  But it was for her own good.  If a 14 year old thinks its ok to take naked pictures of herself and send them out, then she's obviously on the wrong track.  And maybe she needs a nosey aunt to nip this impending disaster in the bud.

I'd also like to remind everyone that Dylan Klebold had a lot of incriminating violent things in his room.  Things that would have raised many red flags for a vigilant/nosey parent.  Instead, his mom did not look more closely at these things because they were in her son's room and she didn't want to "invade his privacy."  Maybe if she had, he wouldn't have taken part in the worst act of violence to affect a school in America's history.

Just then, my own daughter, walked in, full of 6 year old innocence, "Mommy, can I go on the computer and go on club penguin?"

I just wanted to say "NO!!  No you may not go on club penguin and interact with other virtual penguins.  I don't know who these penguins are?!  I don't know what kind of families these penguins come from! In fact, no you can not log onto club penguin until I get CORI/background checks on all these penguins!"

Instead I took a deep breath and said "Yes."  I said a silent prayer and hoped that these penguins were really other 6 year olds...and not some predator holding a naked picture of my friend's niece.

Today I EARNED My Money!!!!

Today I have to say that I earned my money! 

Last week I get a call from the Make a Wish Foundation.  In case you haven't heard of them, they grant wishes for terminally ill kids.  They were having their annual cruise around Boston Harbor for kids who have had their wishes granted this year.  And they needed face painters to add to the list of activities for their kids....

I was thrilled to see that I was booked on the Spirit of Boston.  I love that ship!  My senior class had their graduation party there...ahh memories.

Well, I'm face painting for some great kids and the ship pulls up anchor...we're on our way.  But why does my tummy feel funny? Uh-oh....I'm feeling the beginings of sea sickness.

Let's keep in mind...today the Patriots played the Chargers.  Since I am in the heart of New England, home of the New England Patriots...everyone wanted the team logo.  Over and over again, while I'm fighting sea sickness, I have to do the Patriots logo...lovingly referred to as the "Flying Elvis."

Little sips of water here or there...deep breaths...and then come the sweats...I was so sea sick I started sweating like a turkey on the day before Thanksgiving!  In the middle of a Flying Elvis I had to take a moment and sit down.  A parent asked me if I needed her to find me a doctor.  I was so embarrassed...and I was a lovely shade of grey.

Finally, thank God, we dock!  I was never so happy to see land.  But you know...I still felt queezy.  Maybe I was hungry...maybe sea sickness does not go away the second you stand on dry land.  I'm off to find my car in the worlds larges underground parking garage.  I have no idea where it is and all I want to do is lie down on the cool concrete and wait for the sweet release of death.  I find my car, but I was leaving at the same time as about 300 other families who were at the same event. 

About 45 minutes later I am finally leaving the garage...and I'm not feeling much better because the garage smelled of exhaust fumes. 

On the way home, since my daughter was with my mom, I called home to see if she wanted me to pick anything up for lunch....who answers the phone?  My daughter.

"Put Nana on the phone"
"No!!  I have to talk to you"
"Treenie my phone battery is almost dead"
"But I need to talk to you!"
"Put Nana on the phone!!!!"
"NO!!!!"
"TREENIE..PUT NANA ON THE...Hello?....Damn!"

Luckily, my mom made lunch, thank God, I was starving....but it was fish.

After a two hour nap...I felt much better.  And yes, today I earned my money, every last cent of it!!  Cha-ching!!!

I Have Lost My Sense Of Sass....

It's true...I have lost my sense of sass....

Before wifedom, motherhood and ex-wifery, I was quite sassy.  Now when I say sassy, I don't mean smart mouthed or whitty.  I'm still quite sassy in that regard.  However, there was a time when I would never leave the house with a hair out of place, always dressed up, lookin' good!

Well, we get older and we get tired and getting all dressed up isn't as much of a priority.  That was until yesterday!

It was the end of the day and I went to the bathroom.  A friend of mine was at the sink washing her hands.  She's very sassy!  Always dresses nicely, lovely make-up, funky glasses.  She looks great!  And then I saw my reflection next to hers...WOW!!  What a wake up call.

Now, I'm not saying I wander around looking homeless.  But I was wearing a baggy turtle neck, jeans, sneakers and my hair was not at its best...it was a head band day.  I did not look inappropriate, but I looked like I didn't care about how I looked.

Well, that changed today.  Wore something a little more fitted, hair was washed, blow dried, styled and even used a little product.  I felt better about myself...and the compliments were an added bonus!

I Like Hippies...

The hippie era is a long time gone.  But whenever I think of hippies I smile.  I have a soft spot in my heart for them because they showed my mom and me kindness when no one else did.

It was 1972 and my mom was pregnant.  She was walking home from a day at work.  She was an immigrant and cleaned for a living.  Not the easies job in the world by the way.  She made her money mopping floors and scrubbing toilets.

At this particular time in Boston history, there were not very many Latinos living in Boston.  We were the latest wave of immigrants to this country.  And as many of you know, new immigrants are sometimes viewed with distrust and sometimes even disgust.

While making her way home my mom, who at the time was the same age I am now, didn't feel well.  She worked the whole day, she was tired, pregnant and knowing my mom, probably skipped lunch.  Down she went...she collapsed onto a Boston street.

My mom told me how nauseous she was, she felt dizzy and weak and was unable to stand.  She asked people for help as they walked by, but no one stopped to help her.  I guess they didn't want to get their hands dirty helping a dirty immigrant...but that's just me being bitchy.  She had never felt so alone and  helpless in her life, she she buried her face in her hand and started to cry.

The she felt someone touch her shoulder.  The first thing she noticed were a pair of the dirties bare feet she had ever seen.  She looked up and saw that she was surrounded by hippies.  She didn't know what to make of these three men and a woman who were standing over her.  Each one of them had long hair...wore lose flowing clothes...big ol' bell bottoms...and they smelled of inscense, essential oils and a whole lot of that natural aroma we all buy deoderant to hide.

To her surprise the woman just sat down on the sidewalk next to her and spoke to her in the most beautiful Spanish.  Turns out this woman had spent three years back packing through Central America so she could be with the people.  I always thought that sounded funny...just going somewhere "to be with the people."  These hippies sat with her to make sure she was alright.  They pulled together whatever change they had and bought her a cup of tea.  And they walked her home.  And she never saw them again.  My mom felt like God sent her four angels...dirty angels...but angels none the less.

Even today, my mom likes watching footage of the 60s and Woodstock.  And I will always have a soft spot in my heart for hippies because they stepped in and helped my mom when no one else would.  Since I was in her belly, I guess you could say they helped me too.

Peace.

I'm ready to get out there!

Now the question is how?

I'm ready.  I have been divorced for some time now.  And I've come to the point in my life that I know what I want in a relationship.  And I think its time that I get out there again and try again.

I've been going a bit stir crazy lately.  I get up in the morning.  I take my daughter to school.  I go to work.  I pick my daughter up from her after school program.  I go home.  I check in on my mom.  And the next day I do it all over again.

Weekends aren't much better.

I miss having someone to come home to.  I miss having that someone who I can turn to and say anything to.

Now, here's the problem.  How do I find this person?  I'm too old to go to a club.  I'm not saying that I would be turned away at the door because of my ripe old age of 35, but when I get there what do I do?  And I was tired of the bar scene before I got married.  I don't think I would find it refreshing now!

I've tried the internet....but all I get are freaks!  I'm serious!!  Serious freaks!!  You chat with someone online because you like their profile and they like yours and then they ruin it by being freaks! 

One guy kept asking me about my feet.  What size are they?  Do I paint my toe nails?  Would I be open to bondage tickling?  (I'm serious...I shit you not...he actually asked me this!!)

Another guy seemed nice enough.  He was divorced, had kids, was looking for Ms. Right, etc, etc, etc!  20 minutes into the conversation he asks me what my favorite position is! 

Third guy comes right out and asks me if I swallow!

Fourth guy didn't have a picture on his profile but he sounded nice enough.  While chatting on IM I asked if he had a picture.  He sends me a picture...of his penis!!

Is it me?!  Am I a freak magnet? (I swear I'm going to die alone with 37 cats!)

Ok, someone give me a hint!  Where can I find a good man... over 35... single.. not insane... who likes kids and dogs... doesn't do drugs or drinks too much... who has a job... and has a good sense of humor.  Full head of hair is optional.  Is that too much to ask?!  Does this man even exist?!

Here's the thing that kills me.  I have set up two of my friends with guys.  Both of these friends have since married these guys and are living happily ever after.  I can do this for my friends, but I can't do it for myself!!  ARGH!!  (And do you think either one of them returned the favor?  That is a blog for another day!)

If anyone could email me a road map or maybe some kind of directional schematic as to how to find this person I would greatly appreciate it.