I BELONG TO A SECRET SOCIETY!!

Due to reasons beyond our control, we have been forced underground.  Our traditions are squirreled away from the public and our beliefs are kept to ourselves for fear of prosecution.  We appear just like everyone else, we work with you, our children go to school with yours, and we stand behind you at the supermarket.  And when we recognize one of our own, we greet each other secretly, we whisper our secret message softly so as not to attract attention…we make sure we are in a safe location away from prying judgmental eyes and we whisper…. 

Merry Christmas!

Yes, it’s true, I admit it…. I am a Christian!  I know! It’s shocking!!  I’m the last person you’d suspect as being a Christian.  I love to swear…and I do it quite well.  When I get going, I can whip up such a stitch of profanity that sailors blush!  I love a good martini!  Gin, Straight up (no ice), two olives!  I haven’t seen the inside of a church in God knows how long, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in Jesus.

I don’t belong to any particular church.  I was born Catholic, but to be honest, the Catholic Church and I have gone our separate ways for a variety of reason including that Sunday Mass is a huge snooze-fest that I get absolutely nothing out of unless of course it’s the Spanish Mass at St. Ambrose because the choir is awesome and the walls vibrate from everyone singing.  (However, if regular Mass works for you…God bless.)

I don’t go to church; I don’t beat the bible and make it the centerpiece of every conversation.  However, I try to live my life according to what Jesus taught those of us in our secret society.  Treat others as you would want to be treated.  Be charitable.  Be compassionate.  Let others simply be…  I try my best, I admit sometimes I screw up, but I keep on trying.  Most people, I like to think, believe that although I can be brash and loud, I’m a nice person.

I don’t think it’s a bad way to live.

But here’s the thing…apparently my beliefs are so offensive that I am asked to say Happy Holidays so I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.  Why do I have to celebrate in secret?  Why can’t we ALL celebrate ALL our faiths out in the open and just enjoy the diversity?

That seems like a lot more fun.

I’d like to point out a fact.  Christmas is about Christ…that why “Christ” is in the word “Christmas!”  Kind of funny how that works out, huh…. And for the record it has never been, nor should it continue to be Xmas...that's for people too lazy to write out the entire word.

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a very special child.  It’s about taking a leap of faith.  It’s about celebrating this day with the people you love and wishing them the best.

It’s not about Santa Clause.  It’s not about shopping.  It’s not about racking up 5 months of bills! 

When I see all the commercials and see the people going bananas buying everything in sight….and completely missing the point…it makes my stomach turn.   It is an absolute perversion of the true meaning of Christmas.

Instead of manger scenes, we have a fat guy in a red suit and fictitious reindeer.  Instead of angels, we have elves.  Instead of "Little Drummer Boy" we have "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause," easily one of the irritating songs ever!  And before anyone stands up to defend “Santa” let me remind you what a jerk he was to Rudolph!  He used him for his red nose for one Christmas and then we never hear of him again…I find him a poor representative for Christmas based on his inferior moral fiber.

So while you are walking around your winter wonderland this holiday season, taking in the sanitized, unreligious, secular holiday decorations…while you are thinking, “Wow…how utterly fair and inoffensive to everyone” I would like to point out one thing.

ITS OFFENSIVE TO ME!

Merry Christmas!