You Know You're Latino If.....

OK, I saw Youtube clips of "Habla y Habla" on Ms. Apples blog and I had to participate in the Latino love fest!  I'd also like to point out that I have actually managed to sneak in a Mango into the country through customs! (see number 34) Fear me, I'm a rebel.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE LATINO IF......

1. You have ever been spanked with chancletas.
2. You have later been spanked with la correa.
3. You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her
chancletas on the linoleum floor.
4. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment.
5. You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas.
6. You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing.
7. You get scared whenever someone mentions el cuuuuuco.
8. You have gone to Titi's house and passed through the beaded curtain in
the living room.
9. You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on the TV and under the TV you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or elephant in your living room.
10. You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.
11. You swear a malta is the drink of kings.
12. You have a perpetually drunk uncle.
13. You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house.
14. You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Angel, Carlos, Papo, Juan, Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis.
15. You know Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante.
16. You always try to find out what town another fellow Hispanic's family is from. (Even though you have no idea where that town could possibly be)
17. You call: rug - carpeta, typing - taipiar, parking - parkear,
stress-estress, library - libreria instead of biblioteca, or to
knock-knockiar.
18. All cereals are "Con Fleys".
19. You need a cup of coffee after every meal.
20. Your sister has more mustache hair than your father.
21. One of your aunts or mom weighs over 300 pounds.
22. Your cousins are delinquents.
23. You think Cristina beats Oprah any day.
24. Your uncle owns more gold than a jewelry shop.
25. You have your country's flag hanging from your rear view mirror.
26. Your mom made you put lettuce under your bed the night before Three King's Day so that the camels had something to eat and they leave you a gift in return.
27. Your family never lets you forget the day you missed Mother's Day.
28. You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.
29. You can dance cumbias and salsa without music.
30. You go to at least 3 weddings a year.
31. You dread those boring stays with family in the -campo-.
32. You refuse to use El Diario for anything else but reading. (Except maybe as the only proper way of wrapping fish)
33. You just can't imagine anyone not liking Spanish food.
34. You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Latin America. (bonus points if you actually made it all the way home with it.)
35. You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.
36. You have a bottle of Bacardi in your house right now.
37. You have a picture of "Jesucristo" in your house.
38. You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point if one of them is Santa Barbara).
39. You're an adult and you're still forced to be with your family at 12 midnight every New Years Eve.
40. You think your name begins like this: "Ave Maria purisima".
41. You walk around saying "chacho" or "chacha" or "ay bendito".
42. You do that funny-pointing thing with your nose, and if the other person doesn't understand you, you use your lips for emphasis.
43. You can speak with your face: for example: twitch your nose like a rabbit to ask What do you want?
44. You drive a Cheby (Chevy) or an Ohmobeel (Oldsmobile).
45. You call all sneakers "tenis" shoes.
46. Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.
47. Your mother has put a balled up piece of thread on your baby cousin's
forehead to stop her hiccups.
48. You have at least thirty cousins.
49. You have told your kids not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
50. You're 50 years old and your mother and father are still called Mami y
Papi
......And last, but not least ?
51. You start clapping every time your plane lands on the runway.

addendum:

52. You get on the internet "para googlear" something
53. There is a "pilon" (mortar & pestle) in the kitchen.