You're a She-roe!

I was pretty steamed for the rest of the week.

I had never been called up to HR before... EVER!  You'd think I'd react like any nerd would
on their first trip to the principal's office, but I didn't cry.  I was pissed.

I didn't think anything of it.  I just thought it was part of the new culture in the prestigious
organization.  Moving on... or so I thought.

About a week later, I was approached by a producer at the prestigious organization.  She's
pretty high up on the food chain so I never talked to her since I was just a little cog.  She walked
right up to me and said my name...I was shocked...I had no idea she knew who I was.

"DID YOU GET CALLED UP TO HR FOR SAYING TAMPON IN THE SPEAK EASY?!?"

My jaw dropped!  How the hell did she know about my spanking in HR?!  I was so shocked that
I could hardly speak... which is actually pretty odd for me since my big mouth is what got me into
trouble in the first place.

"IS IT TRUE?!"

I collected myself and said "yes," or rather I tried to say yes, it came out more like a squeak.

"THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY DID THAT TO YOU!!"

I could not believe this woman was talking to me let alone letting the word "shit" fly freely at
full blast!  She said something about wanting to start a ruckus, that something had to be done,
I think I may have blocked out most of her tirade.

I was approached by people high up in my department and other departments.  All women, all
pissed off!  I guess I didn't realize how far the ripples of my own tirade in the ice cream line
would go.  After a couple days, it all died down, and it was back to work until my last day.


The things that I remember the most about this experience are the little things.  The outraged producers
were cool, I guess.  But there were smaller things...

I actually received thank you notes.... some from friends and some from women I didn't even know.
Some women said that for the first time in weeks, they started seeing tampons again in the ladies room on their floors.  One woman said her monthly friend showed up early and she was desperate.  Out of desperation she opened the tampon dispenser. It had been empty for weeks...but she opened it anyway... and found it was full of tampons!

One woman said "Thank you for bringing back the tampons!  You're a She-roe!"  I thought that was pretty cool!

Since my days at the prestigious organization were numbered, I really didn't feel the need to work at full capacity.  I figured I was being shown the door and I got spanked for saying the dreaded "T" word, it was my form of silent protest.... or maybe I was just resentful... after all, I had been there for 7 years!

One day I wandered down to the second floor to waste time with some very cool ladies who worked there.  One of them said to me, "Can I ask you a question? Were you the one who said tampon in the speak easy?"  I laughed, "Yeah, it was me."

She just laughed and said "Oh my God!! You're Tampon Girl!!  You guys!! She's tampon girl!!  SHE'S TAMPON GIRL!!!"

Since we were all Latinas she said, "I knew Tampon Girl had to be one of us!!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!  What did you call me!?"

"Tampon Girl!  That's your name!  That's what everyone has been calling you!"

It took me a minute to take it all in...

"Joan Baez is writing a tribute album for you!  We're planning a parade!  Now that we know it's you, we can have your statue commissioned!!" (OK...this part about Joan Baez, the parade and the statue aren't true...but I can dream!)

Turns out that my tampon comment had taken on a life of its own and from the hyperbole and exaggeration, Tampon Girl was born!  Tampon Girl!! A mysterious, masked figure who attacked the policies of upper management with tales of the female reproductive system and feminine hygiene products!

In retrospect...it was only tampons.  It really wasn't a big deal.  But it turned into one.  Parts of the story are funny and in hindsight sometimes I laugh about it.  But in reality, the experience of being called up to Human Resources was demeaning and scary.  Who knows, they could have fired me right there and I would have been shown the door with no unemployment benefits.  Then me and my daughter would quite literally be on the street.  Luckily, things did not go that far...but c'mon... just give us the friggin tampons!

Perhaps this is TMI...but clearly its not my favorite time of the month.  I don't know any woman who looks forward to her monthly menses.  Bleeding for 5 to 7 days, along with mood swings, craving and bloating is not as much fun as it sounds!

I understand that times are tough and things had to be cut to save money and hopefully jobs, which is what they promised us.  But of all the things you choose to cut to save money, you choose to cut the tampons?!  Not the fancy lunches the executives have.  Not their travel.  They didn't cut down on all the new vice presidents they were hiring!  Instead they cut the first aid kits and the tampons!

(Although I will say that the top executives who make over a quarter mil did take a pay cut... 5%.... way to did deep guys.  After hearing of their contribution I became gravely concerned.  Sometimes I would lay awake at night wondering if they had enough money to put gas in their boats after such a hefty sacrifice... I was so worried.  But I digress...)

I guess I'm glad I'm gone. The place that fired me was not the same place that hired me.

Oh well, at least I got a great idea for a Halloween costume.... Tampon Girl to the rescue!!!