And It Got Worse....

Aside from the progesterone scare, my pregnancy was going well.

The baby was growing normally and loved to kick.  I was 6 months along and was very careful about not over eating so I only gained 14 pounds.  Since diabetes ran in my family I was very careful not to overeat.  Gestational diabetes was the last thing I wanted.  My blood pressure was normal.  And I was the cutest little pregnant woman ever!

One night I climbed into bed.  Since my belly was growing, it was starting to get difficult to find a comfortable position. I moved.  And then my bed was wet.  Did I pee on myself?  Why the hell was my bed wet?

I stood up and a flood poured from between my legs.

We called the doctor who asked if I was sure it was urine.  "Of course its urine!"  I was adamant!  After all, I knew my body.  I was absolutely appauled at the thought of wearing Depends for the rest of my pregnancy!

"Well, you should come in and let me check you out."

Off I was to the hospital.

Upon arriving I was hooked up to a couple of machines.  There was lots of beeping and long strips of paper.  Every now and then the doctor would come in, look at the strips of paper, purse her lips and walk out.  I kept expecting her to come back in and tell me that I had some minor thing.  That all I needed was a prescription and a few days of rest.

That never happened.

The longer I waited, the more pursed her lips got, the more I knew that what was wrong was no little thing.

"Ok....we're going to move you up to labor and delivery..."
"Labor and delivery?!?  Why?"
"Because you're in labor.."

I felt some tightening around my abdomen towards my back.  I didn't know that was a contraction.  And I was only 6 months along.

That was easily the longest night of my life.  I thought that because I was living a wild life, God was punishing me by taking my baby.  I asked to see the chaplain and I had confession.  Something I hadn't done in 12 years.  I even forgot the act of contrition.  But he was a nice priest from Nigeria who prayed for my daughter.  I said that God was punishing me.

He then explained something to me that I will never forget.  He said that the Virgin Mary had to go through the pain of watching her son die on the cross.  And she did everything right in her life.  And she still suffered for her child.  She was perfect and she still had to go through that pain.  Basically, God wasn't playing favorites and he wasn't punishing me.

He then gave me Plenitary Absolution...my soul was a clean slate.  I have screwed that up since then.

I made it through the night and my labor subsided. 

My doctors told me that I was lucky.  I had gone through premature membrane rupture.  The bag that the baby is in popped and all the fluid came out.  Luckily, in these cases, the mother's body continues making more fluid.

My job was to do nothing.  My job was to lie down and stare at the walls and do nothing.  And I should continue doing this until I go into real labor.  And because my membrane had ruptured, I was at a higher risk of developing an infection that could kill the baby.  So I had to lie there, staring at the walls, in the hospital...while the rest of my life went on without me.

And I didn't know how long my life would go on without me.  I could be on bedrest for a few days and give birth to a severely premature child or I could be on bed rest for 3 months and give birth to a full term baby.

And I started the clock...